Why am I in this Class?

I haven't written in my blog very much recently because I am confused about what to write. Everyday when I go to class I find myself more and more confused, not by the material but rather by most of the other people in the room. I find myself thinking that they are obnoxious and elitist, which is how low brow views highbrow. Yet, I wouldn't call myself lowbrow necessarily. I find that I do not struggle to understand concepts in this highbrow cult oops I mean class or with the texts we are reading. I struggle with FW but then who doesn't?
My confusion stems from this: why am I better than other people who aren't highbrow? Or if I am not highbrow why are all of you better than those who are lowbrow? Why is getting addicted to literature better than getting addicted to meth. We are all destroyed either way.
I love reading and I am very much so addicted to literature, recently Samuel Beckett. I get lost is the readings of this cult, oops there I slip again I mean this class. I often see the incredible coincidence of these texts in the world around me and thus I assign more meaning to these worldly things. Yet these things do not make the world more inspiring to me. There is still so much that cannot be included even in a piece of literature that includes everything like FW. I cannot say that, although I've been somewhat addicted to these texts, I've ever not been able to walk away if I could go outside instead. Why be trapped in an addiction of fabulous ideas and wonderful life connections. What is the point of understanding of partially understanding the mysteries and ideas shown in the highest texts if you don't have your own experience to connect them to? So what if I've read FW or Samuel Beckett? I'd rather be able to say "I have lived."
My ultimate questions are: What is so highbrow about reading literature when you could experience it yourself? Why is reading highbrow literature better than living life? What is the point of sitting and reading someone else's view on the world and society when you could go out and see it for yourself?